to be damned just for being young and ugly

here's the link to my photo blog.
its not artsy, its not even cool.
its just a means to express things i could not express otherwise.
or do not want to.
actually there is nothing as easy as point and shoot.
so do not take me seriously.
it could be a joke.
http://waitingwaitingtohappen.blogspot.com/
which should turn into a website soon
hopefully and maybe its worth mentionning,
i do not believe in copyrighting.
so go ahead and steal.
or take.
or ignore.
much love.

everybody's gotta learn sometimes

hey
today's being a sad day, felt like it feels to go to the airport
you know that kind of feeling,
when something is ending and you are helpless
and you kinda know it'll be all good
but still, you end up wanting to puke :S
and tomorrow will not be any easier i fear since
it's my last day of classes in this university.
i've seen quite a bit in three years
known a couple of people
all worth knowing i guess
hated them loved them and admired them
known people who had the QEC syndrome,
known people who were as clueless and ambitionless as i am
known people who'd give it all to be the best
known people that i was too quick to judge
and that were too quick to judge too
i've being bored many more times than is allowed
being getting illegal sometimes
witnessed funny things,
flied a couple of times, and fell a couple of times.
was to weak and unwilling to get up, sadly.
and laughed about my weaknesses, seen people laugh at them too.
cared and at times could not care less.
its all about getting up i'm realizing it just now, getting up,
weaker or stronger than before does not matter much.
and i've blogged a lot too.
i've had 5 blogs all along the way actually.
crazy i know.
i've had friends, lost some.
i've taken up law and very quickly began hating it.
i've had doubts
that were worth having i think.
this is getting tragic, right?
and i'm not even finished.
bear with me some more will you.
so i was saying
the thing about law is that i've loved it and hated it all the same,
most of the time hating it i confess,
and in the end i think i've made the right choice
even if i might not continue my way in this field.
and i can't help but quote ally again.
it all started with her so it might as well end up with her too.
law and love are the same: romantic in concept
but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.
yeah everybody wants to change the world, even in the tiniest of way.
oh i know i've become a quote junkie these days,
but as chuck palahniuk says
nothing of me is original, i am the combined effort of everybody i know
so those three years somewhat changed me.
for the best or the worst, i could not care.
the key is to keep breathing. to move on.
no such thing as stagnation.
but there are no regrets, no remorse or anything.
only memories. i've learnt a lot too.
about myself, about others, about this life.
not enough but still a lot..
but most importantly i've learned to accept me for who i were
and not get caught in the trap.
so yeah, the trick is to move on,
and thats what i'm doing by closing this blog
along with this chapter to my life.
okay i may sound corny and such
melodramatic and all. thats really what i am anyways.
a 21 year old. immature, but evolving.
no such thing as growing up though.
you might check out here from time to time,
i'll put up a link to a photography blog most probably.
something which i've been meaning to do for a long time.
so yeah you'll keep hearing from me,
or for that matter seeing me.
i'll comment on your blogs!
thats not dying. surely not.
thats moving on. breaking bonds.
knowing that great things are gonna come,
sooner or later. when expected or when least.
xoxo

i'd wake you up in the morning, but let you sleep in for a while

i don't know if i like this,
but somehow i wanted to share.
i know, i'm sure
some hearts and some minds out there need to be healed.
some great hearts and some great minds.
so thats for them,
for you,
for anyone who'd take it.
and yes, there are equally nice short films on youtube.
you should check them out.
definitely do.
good night.

its not like i believe in everlasting love

i'm slightly heartbroken at the thought of not seeing violet shades again

heartbroken at a thought. phew.

tomorrow is the last day apparently.

at least, i'll get a couple of recordings of his classes in some days so i can listen to him all my life.

yes you could say i'm a fan or a groupie or some sort of obsessed young college girl.

except that i'm no more at college. it could be pathetic. i'm used to me by now.

am i not boring speaking of him. to you, he must seem like a ghost. funny thing, to me also...

quoting ally mcbeal (which is not a wise thing to do considering i got into law because of her!)

The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.

maybe this does not make any sense, but i'd like to think its because i'm a woman,

and women are all about wanting what they can't have. and from the time they got it they won't want it and thats not much fun.

so let me not have it since the quest is the fun. the want is the fun.

and wanting something else does not mean you can't enjoy what you already have!

for your information however,

my boyfriend does not mind. thats what makes him so peculiar.

he knows that thing called respecting people for who they are,

for the feelings they have.

ok trop de gibberish for now.

i won't say bye.

A mulatto An albino A mosquito My libido Yea

a·sleep (-slp)

adj.

1. In a state of sleep; sleeping.

2. a. Inactive; dormant.

b. Indifferent: politicians who are asleep to the needs of their constituents.

3. Numb, especially from reduced circulation of blood to a limb: My leg is asleep.

4. Dead.

adv.

1. In or into a state of sleep.

2. In or into a state of apathy or indifference.

3. Into a state of numbness.

4. Into the sleep of the dead.

could there be anything harder than waking up?

i feel today is gonna be a long day at uni

and its still seven in the morn, but already extra hot!

i don't feel like shaving my legs,

so i'll probably wear my new wide leg jeans

to keep ventilated!

seriously getting late now, am i not

enjoy the day

god morgon!

you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

In the winter
under clean warm sheets
two naked backs
touch against each other
at the base of the spine
and do not pull away.

such a beautiful morning.

and contemplating thoughts of working and notes making.

but later.

reading Dallas Clayton now.

this guy makes my heart sing and inspires me.

i'm not a big fan of poetry,

but his is different.

light.

take it easy dudes

xoxo

the stars were bright, the water clear, i felt your heat as you swim near

not caring about any tomorrow
everything is perfect now
swimming pooling, some lame tennis - playing,
wine drinking - red and white, and amarula too,
lying in bed and listening to amnesiac late at night,
as if floating in the bed, drifting. silently. hopelessly.
talking long talks in a philosophical tone,

about music,
about ambition and the lack of it,
with my boy, who is having his first times on the road in a fast lane
and is excited like a child and its first bike.
baking 19 cupcakes, banana, chocolate and strawberry jam
with my niece
yes my weekends are pretty much the same all over. so what.
its all about being surrounded by the right people.
by the right music. and the right drinks too!

i used to hate taking night pictures, but now i'm enjoying it heaps,

the lights, even using the flash.
"everything is perfect now - i held my breath
everything is perfect now - you held my hand
everything is perfect now - moving away
everything is perfect now - further from land
everything is perfect now - the stars were bright
everything is perfect now - the water clear
everything is perfect now - i felt your heat
everything is perfect now - as you swam near"

have a perfect week,

though mine will be perfectly filled with work i reckon!

<3

they came out all the same

little boxes made of ticky tacky :)
i love those intros to weeds,
even if i'm not a super fan of the series in itself
i could spend hours on youtube just to listen to those intros over and over
i think its a marvellous idea to make different artists perform different versions of the same song in the intro of each episodes.
the death cab for cuties is my fave version,
but i love that one too and that one too and oh the joan baez one too pendant qu'on y est!
i'm closing this week's musical blogging series..,
getting back my camera this weekend hopefully, yeahee :)
till then get out of your boxes,
or of your matrix as my jurisprudence teacher would have said 1004 times...
and yeah happy weekend!

even time can do good things to you

current favourite, i spent half of the day in the library listening to this,
it just suits the mood, the situation, the reality or the platonic realization whichever, it suits them fine.
and a guy sitting in front turned to ask if i could lower the volume
very very intolerant law people. i hate you little serious shiny shoed boy.
go to hell please. how can you not love the shins.
god its unbelievable how i'm enjoying sitting and talking, or sitting all by myself at uni these blue moons.
in one month and two days, not more, exams and all will be over,
and thats why i'm going to uni like everyday of my life as from now till may!
today i've learned that violet shades is heart broken.
i don't know if i am happy about this or not.
in a tiny spot of my heart i'm sad i think
at the idea of him going home alone everyday
you know, a bed for two for one,
a loverless bed,
a heartbroken.
i should not care that much anyway.
time will make my folly go away, it will go i know.
so do not worry, its only a matter of time now.
weekend already?! i feel like i'm being stolen or something.
carla bruni would say que le temps qui glisse est un salaud
que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux...
she might be quite right.

is there a ghost in my house

this blog is becoming a video blog. i might as well stop the nonsense,
and stop the writing some time soon.
plus i am being denied one of my favourite things these days
like taking pictures, since jaysen kidnapped the camera
and someone tell me what is there on teevee today?
i don't really feel like doing anything much,
this sickeness has left me sans vie, a bout de souffle.
had 3 classes in a row today,
managed to attend one only.
and the crazy part is that i'm feeling bad about it
considering those are the last uni days,
maybe, yes maybe, not quite sure,
maybe i'll miss going to class.
maybe i'll miss some people.
maybe i'll miss seeing crazy stupid things being written on classroom desks,
maybe i'll miss the cold breeze when day is ending and i'm rushing to catch a bus,
maybe i'll miss mean looks because of my too short shorts,
maybe i'll miss them those classes, forever boring.
i never thought i'd get so emotional about this.
those 3 years felt like forever, but in a way it ate and swallowed my youth.
there are things i should have done,
and things i should not.
it would be untrue to say i did not learn and despite my negative attitude towards most things, i did learn some stuffs. important stuffs or not.
its bizarre, but i don't feel as i should be feeling right now,
at the idea of finishing this degree.
i have this apprehension that i'll miss someone in particular, like very badly.
and that my world might crumble because of this.
and maybe thats the cause of my mindless nostalgy.
mindless because i ought to be happy and very excited about all this happening.
but like i heard today 'the ought' is a norm, and is behaviour that is expected,
and i am all but expectation. or i think so.
anyway, here's to you a lovely video,
since i feel like spending my whole life in my bed these days.
and oh, how gorgeous lying in bed at night listening to silence feels these days.
a million times yeah for winter!

whimpers someone i should not have loved

watched this concert during the weekend,
next to my personal muse man who else
it transported us like 5 years back or more,
however this one is my fave from hullabaloo, it gives me goosebumps everytime i listen to it,
but its on the concert's b-sides.
i like this one too.
but too much muse kills the muse i reckon. and too many souvenirs destroys the present. so enough!
then we made a quick walk to the beach and back
which exhausted us, i suck at effort these days.
relatives and stuffs...easter easter.
and playing cards,
nice one i should say.
but then today is plague day i wanna say
been feeling dead sick since this morning
must be something i've eaten or i don't know
plus i have this test at 3, making things worse.
oh mean monday, very very mean.
lets hope the bright blue sky solves it all
till then, have a hullabaloo hullahoop etc filled day
<3>

i'm lost at sea, don't bother me

amidst a study break,
even if i only started revising like one hour ago
for tomorrow morning's test
i'll spend the night it seems.
and the night is going to be very long i tell you.
balgo, during study break,
i eat sliced bananas and muesli drowned in a bowl of milk,
browsing youtube for every single live performance of radiohead
performing in limbo.
thats what i do.
in limbo sounds so cool,
i could say it over and over
in limbo
in limbo
i could say it forever.
i swear i'm going to see this band live at least once before i die
afterwards, i could die from the most stupid death,
like, say, die of laughter
i would not care.
rh are the thing.
industrial relations law, i'm coming back to you.
bon courage everybody
xoxo

weekend is made for lovers

some shopping was finally made,
after a long long time,
some new stuffs neatly packed into the closet,
a lot of cooking,
a lot of loving,

a lot of lying and talking on the bed,

and rolling in bedsheets,
some fresh flowers,
and sweet sweet rain,
band of horses as soundtrack to my life,
for this too fast too short weekend,
but at least i taste life after the dissertation!!
one more month of classes in this university.
i keep counting, i can't help it.
a long and busy week awaits now,
with arms wide open...

sunday night is not meant for working on missed notes, isn't it?
how was your weekend?

do not worry your head over it

something that lights up my life,
sigur ros and bjork, in iceland
where else.
its like a big party!
philosophy classes this afternoon,
or jurisprudence actually.
but i'm liking it now.
the lecturer is a badass when it comes
to being sarcastic i've learnt.
so it might be quite interesting
to see ass kissers get kicked right where they ought to.
life is a big party darlings,
so bon bon weekend
<3

ships are valuable life saviours

just watched nicky's and norah's infinite playlist

which was kinda cool

its crazy how young people cling to eachother

when they have similar taste in music.

and woot i still can't believe i saw devendra in the movie,

and i still can't believe how lovely michael cera is.

he's so nerdly hot, he's got that thing. definitely yeah.

that thing that middle aged men got,

that thing thats too rare in young men apparently.

talking about middle aged guys,

i missed soni's class today,

just had to stay home,

when i woke up it was too hot to get out of the house.

winter is near though, and i really can't wait to be wearing layers and layers of clothes.

feeling a bit under the weather today,
got to have some work done before the weekend,

industrial relation law. so unispiring.

everything looks so heavy...

all that matters is music.

and flowers too.

and oh ships too.

you and whose army, you think you drive me crazy

six in the morning light,
and birds singing,
a rare scence to witness,
and a cup of hot coffee
just to read about some electronic transaction act
looks like i'm learning new things this morning
useless, but still new.
just before, night's darkness,
and those sounds which only silence can make,
and the bed. holy bed and holy roman empire.
and i just can't help to say holy bible too...circonstances obligent.
man, tonight is girls gone wild night, and euh guys too supposedly,
so light booze, and msn, and friends,
and fun.
and la nouvelle star too.
treats!
after some hours and a stupid test,
but life can't stop from being lovely these days...
its not a complaining post, just an etat des lieux.

stupidity talks, vanity acts but well of course I'd like to sit around and chat

somehow the end got done by itself.
and somehow printing turned out to be a real adventure a la Indiana Jones
baby
how about getting a cup of tea now, and breathe in and breathe out.
somehow i feel useless now.
somehow more stress is going to come my way,
sooner than later,
and somehow it does not scare me.
bob dylan, so high above
you might be spoiling me
with too much love.
xoxo

you crawled out of the sea straight into my arms

2 days to go, 1,2
and then kaboum.
hell weekend, coffee but no teevee.
easily.
for once i want to see people, go to places,
do make things...
but i can't.
stuck. for some good reason though.
it'll soon be over.
i feel like i lost my eyes,
formatting on the computer has screwed them up.
my brain cells are slowly dying too,
but adrenaline is at its highest. so near.
can you feel it. i can.
say it. scream it.
freedom.
and oh i heart micheal cera. don't you?
and kinda obsessed with this song.
please beautiful girl, let me be you and play the drum...
till then, have a super exciting weekend, filled with hearbreakingly beautiful people and heartbreakingly beautiful songs.
just saying.

cool and the gang

wednesday night ritual is la nouvelle star pornnnn.

actually i aint got shit to say.

i have to work on this essay, for soni.

and knowing soni is gonna read it makes it hell of a task.

its not got to be perfect,

but outstanding. and outstanding in law is something i cannot be.

except for my nullity. my null and void nullity?! uh.

so i'm posting the remnants of mobile phone pictures

from 2007.

actually i can't remember taking pics with my phone after those...

and i can't believe march is over, where does time go?

who was that strange monkey and why was he following me

lazy lazy monday
i should definitely move my ass
wuhu this song. this song wuhu. song this wuhu.